Digital Story Continued

Arthur Ellermann: A Changed Life <-------------  a link to my digital story.



What does it mean to be American? Over the course of this blog post I will be talking about what I think being American means to my grandfather, and what it means to me.

The story of my grandfather, Pop what the grandchildren call him, I feel that at the core is very American.

My grandfather's story does not start off like the stories that we have read in class, with people immigrating to this land trying to live the American dream. My grandfather's family has been in this country for many generations. I do not know when my ancestors came to this country, but that does not make my grandfathers, or even my own story  any less American than the ones that we have read in class.

There is always a beginning to this story and here is my grandfathers. My grandfather was the child of two teenagers who were forced to get married because his mother was pregnant. They were only married a few short months before my grandfather was born. In his early life my grandfather struggled. He saw everyday what his parents went through to support their family. I feel that this part of my grandfather's story relates to the ideal of America, because he overcame such a hardship at the beginning of his life.

Pop wanted a better life for himself and his future family. He decided that he wanted to go to college and better himself. But it was not possible for my great-grandparents to pay for college for my grandfather. Pop decided to enlist in the army to help him pay for college. My grandfather knew that he wanted a better life, and to obtain a better life and future for himself he knew he had to go to college. Joining the Army was the only way my grandfather could send himself to college.

I see my grandfather joining the army to pay for college, almost equal to immigrants coming to America for a chance at a better life. Isn't that what America is supposed to be, a chance to have a better life. My grandfather saw opportunity in joining the army, just like many immigrants see opportunity in coming to America.

When Pop had his stroke in 2012, he was very lucky to have been able to go to hospital within the first twenty-four hours of it occurring. his life, and everyone in the family lives have changed, but we are all thankful that it was not worse. My grandfather is still alive, yes his life is not what it used to be, but he is still living.

The stroke has changed all of our lives. There is no question about it. Everyone has a different routine now, but in relation to the American dream, I feel that everyone is still living it. I see my family everyday. Everyone gets to see Pop, we do not have to go visit him in a nursing home, or worse the cemetery. My family gets to still live the American dream, and the patriarch of this family is still around.

My family has always identified as Americans first.  We come from all different parts of Western Europe, like Ireland, England, Netherlands, and France to name a few. The dream that many people have of America, is one that my family lives everyday. My family is living the quintessential American dream.

But to know my own American Identity, is very hard. I feel very lucky to be a young white middle class woman. But at the same time I feel as if I do not know who I am. I feel lost on the scope that is my American Identity.

This question is very hard for me because I was born here, my family has been here for generations. I have not faced the hardships that my class mates and their families have faced. I am very fortunate for that.

I feel very lucky to have been born into something that people want so badly to achieve. I'll never know the struggle or hardships that come with immigrating into this country. But that is one of the reasons that my ancestors came to this country. They came here to provide a better life their families and the furutre family members. I'll never have to know the struggle and hardships of immigrating to this country, because my family has been here for generations.

"The Cats of Mirikitani"

The film "The Cats of Mirikitani" shows that there is always history that is being swept under the rug. In this case it was the history of Japanese Internment. There is always history that is not being taught or talked about as much as it should be. Japanese Internment is one of those histories.

Jimmy Mirikitani was born an American Citizen, but his family moved back to Japan when he was just a baby. He eventually moved back to America to pursue his dream of becoming an artist. It was in his early twenties that he was interned at a camp in the California desert. Jimmy's citizenship in the U.S. was revoked, but eventually given back to him without his knowledge. Jimmy lead an interesting life after the camps. He moved to New York and worked as a personal chef to a rich man on fifth avenue. After his employer passed away, Jimmy just started drifting around New York trying to sell his art.

Jimmy's story is special to American history because like so many other people he was taken out of his home and forced to live in these camps. These people were put into these camps because of their ethnicity. It was a dark time in American history. People were outraged and disgusted by what Hitler was doing to the Jews and other people he did not deem Aryan, but something similar was happening right here in America. There was not a mass extermination of the Japanese people, but the living conditions in the camps were atrocious. There was little food and water, and disease was rampant.

Japanese Internment happened because people were afraid. People are allowed to be afraid, but the extent of the fear of the people in America after Pearl Harbor, imprisoned thousands of innocent people.

Something very similar happened after 9/11. People of Arab descent in America were discriminated against because of their ethnicity or skin color. It was another dark time in America, but thankfully innocent people were not imprisoned to make people feel safe. There were talks of doing something similar like Japanese Internment to Arab Americans, but it never got there. After 9/11 Arab Americans were discriminated against and treated like Japanese people in America after Pearl Harbor. It looked like history was going to repeat itself, but it never got that far thankfully. But the discrimination that Arab Americans faced was terrible, and there were some cases of Arab Americas being beaten up or killed because of what they looked like.

What I took away from the film "The Cats of Mirikitani" was that America was a place of dreams, but those dreams can be crushed in two seconds flat. Jimmy Mirkitani was born an American citizen, but during a time of crisis in America, his American identity was taken from him.

Children are taught in history classes about George Washington and Abraham Lincoln. They are taught about World War II, Hitler and Pearl Harbor. What they are not taught is what happened after Pearl Harbor to Japanese people living in America. Japanese Internment is glossed over in the history books. There is normally one paragraph or page depicting the pain and suffering that Japanese people living in America post Pearl Harbor experienced. American history books only teach the "good" things that happened in America, and gloss over the things that happened that are not so pleasant.

I think that American history is told through the eyes of white men, because this country was founded by them. The funny thing is that white men are becoming the minority, but  what is not so funny is that they still hold most of the power. There is a vast history of American that is not told because people find it uncomfortable or unpleasant, but those stories, like Jimmy's need to be told so that people can know what not to do when they are afraid.

Response to "Fictive Fragments of a Father and Son" by David Mura

I once read somewhere a quote that said, "Isn't it strange that we know our parents our whole lives, but they only know us for a part of theirs."All parents have lives before their children, and it is up to the parents to tell their children about their lives before they had children. But if the parents, do not tell their children about their lives before they had them, the children will then just fill in the gaps with their own stories about what their parents lives were like before them.

David Mura

In the story "Fictive Fragments of a Father and Son" by David Mura, a son fills in the gaps to his fathers history as to know him better. The narrator's father in the story does not share much about his life before he was a father. The son knows that his father is a second generation Japanese American. The son knows that his father spent time in interment camps during World War II. It is with the stories that he knows, that the sons makes assumptions about his father and fills in the gaps with his own "fictive fragments" as to who he thinks his father was before.

The life of a parent before their children are born is very different from their lives as a parent. Being a parent changes a person's life. For some it means giving up on their dreams and then forcing them onto their children. For others they just try not to do as bad as their own parents, but end up making the same mistakes with their own children that their parents made with them.

I personally know very little about my parents before they had children. I've heard some stories, mostly from other relatives about my parents. The stories I mostly hear are told over and over again. On those rare occasions when I hear a story that I have never heard before, I feel as if I see my parents through new eyes.

It is very rare for my parents to tell me stories about themselves when they were younger. When they do tell me stories of what they were like before they had my siblings and I feel like I am seeing a whole new side of them. It is not that my parents are private people and don't like to talk about the past. They do tell us things when they ask, but if they have to talk about it they wont.

My mom and I

Both of my parents come from a family of six children. My father is the second American born generation  of Italian immigrants. My mother comes from a long line of English, French, Dutch and Irish born immigrants from the early 1800's.

My Mom and I

I can relate to the character of this story because I do not know the full extent the lives that my parents lived before they had me. I guess, like the narrator of this story, I do fill in the gaps with my own stories about my parents.

I know that my mother is the fourth child of six, she is considered the oldest of the three younger ones. Her and her siblings were always divided into two groups, the three older children and the three younger ones. I assume it was just easier to keep track of them that way, but in reality I have no idea. I know that my mother went to college for nursing, and today she is a nurse. But I have no idea what kind of student she was, who her friends were. I know she tells me to work hard at school, and her friends are the parents of my friends and co-workers.

My immediate family at my sister's wedding 

I don't know what my mother was like when she was my age. I know she was engaged to my father and working as a nurse, but that is as much as I know.

I love my parents very much, but they did have different lives before they met each other, got married and had children. It is very strange to think of my mother and father when they were my age. It's not that my parents are secretive about their lives before they had children, I guess my siblings and I just never asked.

Smoke Signals

The film "Smoke Signals" tells the story of two very different Native American men. I feel that the difference between the men can be seen as how some Native Americans see the world. 

The film was written, directed, acted, produced, and made by an all Naive American Team, that is what makes this film so unique. It is the story of two Native Americans, told with the help of an all Native American film crew and production team.  I feel that is what makes this film so original and true to the lives of Native Americans today. Most Native American stories that are told today are told through the eyes of white men, who bastardize their culture and life style. 

Just take a look at one of the most recent movies that came out, The Lone Ranger. The Lone Ranger is supposed to have a Native American side-kick named Tonto. But the movie that was recently released had a white man playing Tonto. Yes Johnny Depp is a great actor, but he is a Native American actor. I read articles where the Native American people were in an outrage over the casting of Depp and were going to boycott the movie. Tonto is a huge figure in Native American Culture. The original actor from the television series was a Native American, and casting a white man because he has a better and longer resume over an actual Native American actor is just another blow by the white man to Native Americans and their history. Another instance for this happening is very recent. There is going to be a new Peter Pan movie, and the actress that they cast for the role of Tiger Lily is Rooney Mara, another white actor was chosen over a Native American actor, because she has a longer list of movies on her resume. The production studio claims that they cast her in the role because she was the best actress for the part. Yes Mara and Depp may be great actors, but they are not Native American. These are just the recent  instances of the white-washing of two very prominent Native American icons in film and television. That is why the film Smoke Signals is so important. It was written, directed, acted in, produced, and made by an all Native American team. 

Carsen Gray in Peter Pan 2003

To the right is a still from the 2003 version of Peter Pan. The actress who played Tiger Lily. Her name is Carsen Gray. She is a descendant of the Haida tribe. In 2003, eleven years ago, they cast a Native American to play the role of Tiger Lily, but in 2014, they cast a white woman to play the role. I see that as a step back for Native American Actors. There are so few roles for Native American actors. I see giving Rooney Mara the role that was made for a Native American as a slap in the face to the Native American culture. 

I see Thomas as the type of Native American who goes along with what the white man wants for and from Native Americans. Thomas represents what people think of when they think of a modern day American. He is a mystic, who loves to tell stories and live in the past. Thomas also represents what the white man wants the modern day Native American to be. I feel that he is complicit in his life on the reservations. He is happy to have a life at all.

 I see Thomas being saved by Arnold Joseph, as a metaphor for the white men who forced the Native Americans from their land. The burning house, the fire that Arnold started,  is the land that the white men have forcibly taken. Him realizing that he has started the fire, is the all the wars that have been fought over the land. When Arnold catches Thomas from being thrown from the burning house, I see that as the white man's last resort to having to deal with the Native Americans and putting them on reservations. 

Thomas is a good man, but he is complicit with his form of slavery. He takes what the white man has given to him, and does not question if there should be more.

On the other hand, Victor represents everything that the white man has tried to squash out of the Native American's. He is stoic and angry. He does not like people telling him what to do. Victor is represents everything that the modern day Native American really is, while Thomas is the dream of what the white man wants the Native Americans to be. Victor is angry for what has happened in the past. The history of his life reflects the plight of the Native Americans. He has suffered greatly, and is angry about it. 

Victor's life is that of a typical Native American living on a reservation. He has alcoholic family members, who try to drink away the troubles of their ancestors pasts, and being forced to live in a designated area. Victor is angry for all of that. Life has never been kind to Victor Joseph, just like history has not  been kind to Native Americans, since Columbus "discovered" America. 

I feel that the theme of fathers and sons is very strong in this film. I feel that way because Victor Joseph never saw his father as a father figure and role model , while Thomas always saw Arnold Joseph as a father figure and role model. Victor had to live with Arnold and see him every day, and see him for the scared and sad man that he was. While Thomas, who never really knew his father,  only has the stories that he has been told about Arnold, and a few occurrences over his youth to form an opinion about him. I feel that this represents that someone can idolize someone from afar, but if they truly got to know who they were, they might not idolize them at all. A father and a father figure are two very different things. 

I feel Arnold, could only be a good father to Victor by leaving him. He was only showing his son the bad side of himself with the drinking and the abuse. Arnold was also a good father figure to Thomas in leaving because he never let Thomas see the bad side of him, he only left Thomas with the good memories of him. Thomas never had to think about Arnold's abuse or drinking, he only was left to wonder why he left. I feel that Arnold also shows that he cares about his own mental state with leaving. Everyday he had to live on the reservation, and see reminders of what he caused, and it was killing him inside. By leaving, he was giving himself a new lease on life and could begin to heal from the past wounds that he had given himself. Arnold had to leave because the only way he could forget about the fire and all the pain that he had caused, was to drink. If he could not drink and had to stay on the reservation he would have gone crazy. 

This film shows the complexity of the lives of Native Americans. It shows that each new generation of Native Americans will have to deal with the pasts of their ancestors in a a different way, or they will loose their culture forever and cease to exist. 

"I Would Remember" Response

"They say you die twice. One time when you stop breathing and a second time, a bit later on, when somebody says your name for the last time.” - Banksy

Everyone dies, it is the sad fact of life. But the memory of us that the ones we love have, will live forever. That is what I believe the short story "I Would Remember" by Carlos Bulosan is about. The narrator of the story had five deaths in his life that he will always carry with him. Each death has meaning behind it. The narrator of this story will remember each and every death from this story because they all have meaning behind the deaths. Each death that the narrator experiences has a complex relationship behind it. 

The first death that the narrator experiences is the death of his mother. His mother dies giving birth to his younger brother. This death can be seen as the loss of innocence. The narrator who is so young for the death of his mother, looses the security of his mother always being there for him. When his brother is born, his mother dies. Where there is life there is death. No one can escape death. It is all around us, the narrator just gets a taste of it at a very young age. It can be said that with the death of his mother, the narrator looses that connection he feels to his homeland or motherland. With the death of his mother, the narrator is severing the link between him and his homeland. The narrator will always feel a sense of anxiety and premature loss when he thinks of his homeland because that is where his mother died. He will always feel it and that I think is one of the reasons that the narrator moves to America, because he needs to escape that feeling of loss and anxiety that he associates with his homeland. Our mothers are our place of origin, and with the loss of his mother, the narrator feels that the tie has been severed between him and his homeland and it can never be replaced. The narrator will always feel that anxiety when he thinks of his homeland because of the death of his mother. 

The second death that the narrator will remember is the death of his families carabao. The family carabao was more of a brother to him than his actual brother, because he will always associate the death of his mother with the birth of his brother. The death of the family carabao can be seen as the relationship between people and God. God, his father in this situation, can do what ever he wants and people, the carabao, can do nothing to stop it. It cal also be seen as the loss of an national identity. The narrator sees the death of his carabao at the hands of his father, as the plight of the Philippines against those who wanted to colonize it. The death of the carabao can be seen as this because, the carabao is trying to escape the wrath of his father and runs into a pit, breaking all of its legs. Then his father seeing that the carabao can not longer work, decides to kill the carabao. The people working the land are worked until they cannot anymore. They are seen as useless by the people who have colonized them, so they are cast aside for the new workers to come and do their job. This death of the carabao is representative of the colonization of the Philippines because the carabao does everything in its power to escape the wrathful hand of his master, but in the end is still killed. It shows that the people of the Philippines did all they could to escape the colonization of their land, but in the end they were forced into colonization.

The death of Marco is one that the narrator will always remember because it shows the hardships of being an immigrant and traveling to a new land for a better life. Marco's death shows that to believe in the dream of coming to America to start a new life, is not always easy. Marco has a picture of the girl back home who he intends to marry, and that picture represents the hope for the future and a better life. But that dream is cut short when Marco is murdered on the boat over to America, for ten dollars. This death exposes the cheapness of human life. That someone would kill this man because he had ten dollars, shows how little it takes for someone to kill another human being. This death shows how easily disposable human being are, and that is sad. To kill anyone over money, shows that human beings are no higher above animals, because killing someone over money is likened to an animal killing another animal over food. After the death of Marco the narrator holds onto that picture of the girl because it represented the journey that he went on to get to America. But that dream of America being a better life than that of home is killed when he looses the picture of the girl. 

The death of the narrator's friend Crispin in the most poetic death in the short story. Crispin's death is the only non-violent or violated death. Crispin just expires. He is not nourished or fed. This is poetic because Crispin's death is a reflection of the role of the artist in society. The artist's creativity is not nourished and so their spirit for life is crushed. The artist does not get fed because society does not feed them. Crispin chooses his death because he does not want to world to change him. While the narrator eats the news paper, Crispin refuses. This symbolizes his refusal to conform to society by eating the words of those who want to change him. The narrator wanting to live conforms to society, but does so only by choking the words of the world down. He does this only to survive. Crispin wants to live his life on his terms, so he does not eat the news paper because he sees that as a way of conforming to the way society wants him to be. Crispin was the light in the darkness for the narrator. Crispin is described as having a luminosity about him. He was the moon that guided the narrator though his darkest times. The moon is seen as a reflection of emotion. Crispin was seen as the artist, and a artist will always reflect his emotion into his work. With this death the narrator looses his guiding light in this new world, and for a time being he is lost in this world. 

With the death of Crispin, Bulosan actually predicts his own passing. He dies without knowing that his work is celebrated. Bulosan never got to see his own work honored. and that is very sad, because most artists never get to see their work being well know and celebrated 

The last death that the narrator talks about is the death of a man names Leroy. Leroy's death is a death that reflects a dark time period in America. Leroy's death is a historicized death because he is lynched. Leroy's death is symbolic of the human condition being violated. Everything that these men do to Leroy is symbolic of them talking away a part of his humanity. They emasculated him when they cut off his genitals. When he was stabbed in the chest, it means that they took away his heart for the cause he was fighting for. When the men gouged out his eyes, they were taking away his vision for a better future. When the men cut out his tongue, they were taking away his voice to stand up against a corrupt system. When the men eviscerate Leroy, they are taking his courage to stand up. These men who killed Leroy took away his humanity. With everything that these men did to kill Leroy, they stole away a part of who he was. These men took away his humanity and strength. This death shows the narrator that life in America was not so different from life back home. It shows him that everywhere people have a lack of respect for life and all of the beauties that come with it. With this death the narrator is growing into a more politicized self. He is learning more and more about the world he lives in. 

The point of this short story is to show the reader that no matter what profound loss shapes who we are. Everyone will experience death in their lives. No one can escape it. It just matters on how you take it and how you let it shape you into the person that you are. 

I feel that this story is important because death is inevitable. Everyone dies. It is the sad fact of life. We are only on this floating rock in space for a short amount of time, and it is what we do with our short amount of time that makes us important. 

Death effects us all differently. I have been very fortunate in life to only have been subjected to the deaths of two of my grandparents. I have had no tragedies in my life, like the narrator of this story. I lost my two grandparents because they were elderly and sick. I miss them terribly, but they, I hope, are in a better place.

This is a picture form my cousins wedding.
This was one of the last times my whole
father's side of the family was together. 

I was only in fourth grade when my grandmother died. She had heart disease, and was in the hospital for a month before she passed. She did not want any of her grandchildren to see her that way. I had no idea that she was sick until it was almost too late. I was only nine years old when she got sick, and at the time I did not fully understand the severity of her situation. So my nine year old brain thought that she would get better and we would be able to see her every Friday night again. But she never got better, and I never got to say goodbye in person. That is the only thing that I wish I could have done. But I did get to say goodbye at her funeral. It was very hard on my family and I when she was gone.

I did not experience death again until I was a senior in high school. My grandfather, also like my grandmother, had heart problems, and was placed in the hospital. He was only there for a couple of weeks before he passed. I remember hearing that he had been taken to the hospital because he had been having chest pains and that he had had a heart-attack. Again, like my grandmother, he did not want any of his grandchildren to have to see him in the state he was in. I was unable to see him before he passed. But I remember the morning that I heard that he had died. It had snowed the night before, and school had been canceled. I was sleeping in and I remember my mom coming in to my room and gently tapping my on the shoulder. She then told me that during the night my grandfather had had another heart-attack and had passed away. I remember feeling numb and just sitting in my room for an hour just staring off into space. The next few days passed in a blur and again I only got to say goodbye at the funeral. 

I have been very fortunate in my life to have not had death surround me the way it has other people. There are only two deaths that I can recall that affected me so. 

Death surrounds us all, and it will happen to each and every person on this planet. It is how we let it effect us that shows us the kind of person that we truly are.