Response to "Fictive Fragments of a Father and Son" by David Mura

I once read somewhere a quote that said, "Isn't it strange that we know our parents our whole lives, but they only know us for a part of theirs."All parents have lives before their children, and it is up to the parents to tell their children about their lives before they had children. But if the parents, do not tell their children about their lives before they had them, the children will then just fill in the gaps with their own stories about what their parents lives were like before them.

David Mura

In the story "Fictive Fragments of a Father and Son" by David Mura, a son fills in the gaps to his fathers history as to know him better. The narrator's father in the story does not share much about his life before he was a father. The son knows that his father is a second generation Japanese American. The son knows that his father spent time in interment camps during World War II. It is with the stories that he knows, that the sons makes assumptions about his father and fills in the gaps with his own "fictive fragments" as to who he thinks his father was before.

The life of a parent before their children are born is very different from their lives as a parent. Being a parent changes a person's life. For some it means giving up on their dreams and then forcing them onto their children. For others they just try not to do as bad as their own parents, but end up making the same mistakes with their own children that their parents made with them.

I personally know very little about my parents before they had children. I've heard some stories, mostly from other relatives about my parents. The stories I mostly hear are told over and over again. On those rare occasions when I hear a story that I have never heard before, I feel as if I see my parents through new eyes.

It is very rare for my parents to tell me stories about themselves when they were younger. When they do tell me stories of what they were like before they had my siblings and I feel like I am seeing a whole new side of them. It is not that my parents are private people and don't like to talk about the past. They do tell us things when they ask, but if they have to talk about it they wont.

My mom and I

Both of my parents come from a family of six children. My father is the second American born generation  of Italian immigrants. My mother comes from a long line of English, French, Dutch and Irish born immigrants from the early 1800's.

My Mom and I

I can relate to the character of this story because I do not know the full extent the lives that my parents lived before they had me. I guess, like the narrator of this story, I do fill in the gaps with my own stories about my parents.

I know that my mother is the fourth child of six, she is considered the oldest of the three younger ones. Her and her siblings were always divided into two groups, the three older children and the three younger ones. I assume it was just easier to keep track of them that way, but in reality I have no idea. I know that my mother went to college for nursing, and today she is a nurse. But I have no idea what kind of student she was, who her friends were. I know she tells me to work hard at school, and her friends are the parents of my friends and co-workers.

My immediate family at my sister's wedding 

I don't know what my mother was like when she was my age. I know she was engaged to my father and working as a nurse, but that is as much as I know.

I love my parents very much, but they did have different lives before they met each other, got married and had children. It is very strange to think of my mother and father when they were my age. It's not that my parents are secretive about their lives before they had children, I guess my siblings and I just never asked.